If there's one thing I learned during my seventeen-year stay here on this world, it's the blatantly-obvious fact that life likes to throw obstacles at people. Whether it's an obstacle about your family, or even about courtship, life shall and always will find an obstacle to throw at you. This is normal, and you shouldn't (and, most obviously, can't) avoid it. And, during my stay here, I can surely say that I've had my fair share of obstacles—most of them were easy to get over; however, there are some that have caused "my own downfall" and there are also those obstacles that have left a scar on my used-to-be-pristine motivation.

The events that have transpired over these past few weeks is one of the latter—one that has caused a gaping wound in my motivation. Still, what do I do? Wait, no, let me rephrase that, what should I do? And the most obvious response to that is to get back up.

Now that the drama (with me, which was also caused my me) is now starting to settle and the love slowly fading into obscurity, I can finally start to focus on the thing that matters most in my life—my dream. My dream of becoming the next person to innovate technologies. That is my dream.

The purpose of this post isn't just to notify you all that I'm OK and I'm going to continue chasing after my dreams, of course not. See, the purpose of this post is for me to state and explain what my course of actions will be for the next few months or so, and I intend to be 100% honest and transparent in this.

So, you might ask, "Why are you still in the Campus Ministry? Isn't that all a hoax just to get close to the girl?" Well, simply put and believe it or not, I'm actually starting to enjoy being in this Campus Ministry and helping them out in any events. Even though I'm not really that much of a religious person, I still, for some reason, get joy from accompanying them in activities. So, my stance on this whole "Should I leave the Campus Ministry?" drama is a big, solid NO. I am not leaving and I don't plan to do so. However, I can't say the same thing next term, maybe I will be busier because I also intend to join the APC Microsoft Community next term in an effort to become a Microsoft Student Partner by late 2016 or early 2017.

"What about love? What about courting someone?" The answer to that is, unfortunately, a sad and tragic one. Since the girl really won't express any interest in my efforts, then I should say that I'm going to just stop it, and retire the idea of romance indefinitely—for the time being, that is. I'll also stop looking for any girls and just really focus on my studies. So, for the time being, no more romantic love and I guess I'll just wait until I meet someone again that will spark up my ever-so-boring life once again. I have a feeling that the loving and romantic part of me will be left in a derelict state for a long time, I just know it. It's sad to say that I'm retiring the concept of romantic love—and, possibly, the concept of love as a whole—for now, but it's what I have to do. So, yeah, I'm quitting love (for now). (Unless, of course, the girl shows interest and tells me that I have a chance of courting her—in which, my reply to this whole thing would be "Finally.")

Still, focus is a thing that cannot be destroyed nor created, so you might wonder what will it be repurposed for. The real answer to that is that it's going to be cut up and be repurposed for personality and character development, technological innovation and development, and academic studies improvement. I sorted them out in order or importance, so there's a really BIG need for development of my personality and character. I've noticed that my personality and character is the equivalent to that of a background character—someone you just meet who's as bland and as boring as any of the other persons you've met in your life. I really want to take myself apart, see what I'm good at, flesh them out, and show to the world that I'm not just that background character who you only think of when you have a computer related problem, no.

There's this ever-growing fire inside of me that yearns and burns for excellence in various fields, and I need to keep the flames burning. So, with the door towards romance closed, the door toward excellence will now be opened—and the only thing to do left is to step through. Chasing for excellence in technological development, character and personality development, academics, public speaking, and writing is a hard task; still, it's more feasible than chasing for love I don't deserve.


Only by achieving true excellence will I ever afford the luxury of falling in love again, that's for sure.