A Better Tomorrow

Step in, ladies and germs. Come one, come all to our leading story tonight. A story about pride, prejudice, and unrequited love. A tall tale about a boy—a young boy—going out of his way to try and get the girl his heart is after. A (possibly) ongoing saga about a nerdy college freshman doing everything he can to go after this out-of-his-league junior. Once again, ladies and gents, welcome to The End—a story about things that are not meant to be.

Sometime around October, 2015, I met a girl that would drastically change my life for the months to come. A girl who I wouldn't expect meeting at that place, and at that time. That girl, of course, was C. C might look like your average girl, but, to me, she was way different than the others. She has a smile that would instantly light up my day, move the clouds, and make my world a better place.

Manning the APC Speaks advocacy booth, I didn't expect to meet a lot of people, as I know I'll be sitting behind a table while glancing at my phone from time to time. Still, the odds and the conditions were just right and my fellow APC Speaks member went in front of me with the girl, C. For no apparent reason at all, my heart fluttered, my lips smiled, my eyes squinted. I felt an uncontrollable feeling that I hadn't felt for months—if not, years—and it was one of the most palpable emotions I ever felt, and I was unknowingly hooked on it.

Nevertheless, my empty and weary mind just dismissed the idea of the girl until I unconsciously thought of her while I was out and about with my fellow Speaks members. A question popped from their lips—the question that would soon shape my life for the months to come. "So, Dart, are you currently courting someone or have plans?" I hesitated, and I immediately said no, but, out of hesitation, I followed with, "But I do have plans to court this girl that was with Tim." Questions soon piled up on me, and I couldn't think of proper responses as I didn't know much about the girl, but it eventually led to me saying, "I'll try to find the girl and I'll really plan to court her."

On the night of the 27th of January, I mustered up to find out who that "mystery girl" was, and so I went on to message my fellow APC Speaks member, Tim, about it. After an exchange of questions, answers, and excuses, I finally got Tim to tell me who that mystery girl was and he gave me a link to C's profile. At first, I didn't think it was her, but I deduced that it was the girl I saw while I was manning the booth.

With a strong lead and enough evidence about the girl, I began to pursue her, and our story started from there.


Now, months have passed, and almost every possible fuck-up and wrong decision has been already been made and done. And, most obviously, I didn't even get a chance to court the girl. I didn't even get the chance to ask her myself if I could court her. The girl and I may (possibly) be in good terms, but neither one of us feel comfortable talking to the other anymore. I was caught dead in my tracks and, since the girl is a junior, her internship is up on the next term, which is on August. My time, luck, and options have ran out—it's time to pay the price of a heavy penitence.

The original plan was to try and see if I can get her to tell me if I could court her on/or before our midterm examinations, and I did try and see that; however, it all came crashing down when a love letter I sent arrived on her doorstep (mentioned here). I tried to follow my plan regardless of what had happened, and I sought on to redeem myself of what happened before. Since I joined her Christian organization, I tried to "pay back" by attending Masses regularly, joining activities that they would organize, and, of course, looking my best and putting my best foot forward whenever I was with her.

Little did I know that my plan was, of course, to no avail. Had I known that, at the end of our term, her answer would still be a solid and definite "No, ever since the beginning, I have never wanted to," I would have never continued to go down this path.

Heartbroken and pitiful, I am now a shell of who I once was—and I'm now equipped with newfound feelings of unworthiness and extreme inadequacy. Despite my best efforts, the girl and I would never turn out to be together—as we are really not meant to be. I am a college freshman, and she is a junior. I still have my whole college life ahead of me and hers was behind her (for the most part, that is). Besides, even if I was successful in my efforts, we would've only had 1 more term together and she would be off on her internship, and the thought that she might meet someone far better than I will ever be while she was on her internship was a thought that dawned on me whenever I would make the decision to continue down the road I was going.

Like many things in my life, a relationship between C and I are not meant to be, and were never meant to be together in the first place. With that being said, I can finally add that to my list of "things that were not meant to be."


Knowing that something in your life isn't meant to be might be one of the hardest—if not, the hardest—thing to know. The feeling of futility and early agony is an emotion I would not like to experience anymore, but I will have to face it once again on a future date. It may not be now, and possibly not next week, nor for the succeeding months, but I will experience it soon. When the time has finally arrived, I just hope that I have the necessary things to let me face it head-on with a smile.

There are certainly things in our lives that aren't meant to be, and we might not know of them until the time finally arrives, but, in the event that it does, the best we could do is to keep our integrity and not lose ourselves in the events that will unfold following it. For me (and as an aspiring innovator), I need to learn how to keep my head high and intact as I look onwards to tomorrow.

Maybe that girl and I are meant to be together, and maybe we're not. Regardless of which, the proper course of action I should take in this situation is to just end this tomfoolery and start to slowly move back to become another background character in her life, and also to focus on mine. The same goes for the other things in my life that aren't really meant to be. I should slowly start to disregard and lose care of things that aren't meant to be—all in the hopes that, by doing it, I will feel less pain and disappointment.

While I'm not sure of what the lesson of this whole story might be, there is only one thing I can derive from this whole situation: anticipate things in advance, and if the situation ahead seems too grim, continuing it might have detrimental effects far down the road. Though it wasn't the only lesson I've learned, it's the one I'm most obliged to share from my experience, and hopefully I will take this lesson seriously (as I have a tendency of learning lessons and disregarding them).


Despite all of the things I've stated, I'm genuinely pleased to have met the girl and to have had this experience—even if it was a bad decision. Like I said, life may throw a lot of hurdles at us, some of which might break us down, and some might make us think that someone is really meant to be for us. But, at the end of the day, fate will clear up everything and see you through. All of the doubts, uncertainties,

That is all for now, folks! If you have reached this far without skipping, then I am obliged to congratulate you. Thank you for reading my story and have a good day ahead!


[By the way, there won't be a Slam Poetry Night session this Saturday as I am off to camp. There will be an extremely lengthy one the Saturday after next, so stay tuned!]

Before I'd like to start this little event, I have to request for the members in the audience to turn off their phones or to put them on silent mode. This night, ladies and gentlemen, is all about one thing: chilling. So, for the best experience, turn off your phones so that we may not distract the performer on stage, thank you.

Hope you're all having a chill evening as much as I am, folks. Thank you all for visiting our little hole-in-the-wall studio/shop we have set up a few days ago just for our little soirée this evening. I'm "the main man" tonight, your host and owner of this fine shop, Ian. The lovely girl in the back is our one and only waitress, Charm, and the guy to her right with his arms crossed is Dylan, our only chef and waiter. We're only a small group of three, but we hope that we will be more than good enough to accommodate you all this evening.

Now that you all know us, I'm sure you're all dying to know what we have in store for you tonight—and the best way to answer that is to tell you what that cool, green drink is doing in front of you. That, of course, is none other than a tall, minty frappuccino courtesy of our first musical performer this night. You may not have heard of this band because this is actually a new band in the smooth jazz scene, but, let me tell you something, they know how to rock the saxophone and drums. Give it up for The Minty Frappuccinos with their song "You Were the One"!

I never knew that life could be like this
Livin' day by day not experiencing a hint of bliss
'Cause darlin', the soft touch of your finger is a thing I miss
Oh when I'll see you I'll

Live back the days we've been through together
Never regret the fights we had together
Because you, you, you
Because you were the one

I've been spending days to talking to you
Night and day, not even having a clue
If it was something I said because I know
Deep in my heart that I still love you, you
Oh when you see me, tell me

That you miss the days we talked all night
And how you laughed every time I did stutter
Tell me that the thing we're doing ain't right
And that it all will come back together

Because you, you, you
You are the one, the light, my shining glee
Yeah you, you, you
You were the one

Since this is a slam poetry night, I highly encourage everyone in the audience to snap their fingers instead of actual clapping as a "different form of applause," if you will, for nights like this. Laugh all you want, but that's how it is here. Next time we'll definitely put up a sign that reads, "No applauses allowed, only snaps."

Joking aside, I'm pretty sure you're all dying to hear our last—but not the least—performer for the night. The reason why we're all here, the slam poet. Our first slam poet is a close friend of mine, we've been through a lot recently—him having his romantic dilemma and I trying to set up shop here as a café in the morning and slam poetry stage every Saturday night. His slam is titled, "Not Good Enough," dedicated to the girl he's been trying to court but is unwilling to show interest.

Ah yes, love really is a dangerous ball game. Sometimes, you throw a ball and hope somebody throws it back, but, often times, you're just left there standing trying your best to see if that person will give back the ball to you. Drama aside, let's give it up for our slam poet, Mr. Ronald!

"I'm sorry, but your best is not good enough"
The sharp, piercing words that went out your mouth
Sounded nothing more than pure bluff
If only I knew, I would've never gotten into this love stuff

If only I know that you'd never love me back,
I would've never tried to wiggle through this crack
If only I knew, if only I knew
I would've . . . I would've never loved you

Try, try, try
Day and night, all I ever did was find a better way to try, try, try
But for what? For the hope that someday we'll look eye to eye?
Because that's what I want, it's better than to say a measly "Hi"

I know that I'm not as good-looking as the other guys
And that my dream of having a relationship with no lies
Is just a laughable, stupid idea to you
Because you think that my love for you isn't true

A chance is all I need
For you to see what I mean, for you to heed
That all the things I've done in the past few days were done using my best
Just so I can get a chance and to pass your test

All in an effort just to show you that I love you so much
Oh, who am I kidding, my best will never be good enough


Thank you, Mr. Ronald for the great slam you delivered. We really felt the pain and the anguish you felt when this girl told you that your best isn't good enough for her. We've all been there, am I right?

Well, I hope you've all enjoyed the minty frappuccino prepared for you all because I'm afraid to break the news that our night of chilling and kicking back has come to an end. We, the members of this fine establishment, humbly thank you in attending the first-ever slam poetry night. From the bottom of our hearts, thank you, and we hope most of you will still come back here next week for our next set of performances. See you all and have a safe trip home, good evening!